Today I`ve watched all my photos from childhood to so-called adulthood.
And I cried.
I cried because of my dear grandfother. I cried because of lost friends. I cried because of gone years of my ‘best years’. I cried because of my face.
Since the forth form I have had acne. It was super-difficult to live happily with all these pimples and red spots on my face. Not so many people are ‘lucky’ to live with acne.
All my school years were almost unbearable because of my shyness, inconfidence and embarrasment at my appearance.
I asked myself: «Why!? Why you?»
You can`t imagine how hard it was to go to school every day. I was looking at my beutiful classmates and wished I could have such clear skin.
I WISHED I COULD HAVE SUCH CLEAR SKIN!
I WISH I HAD SUCH CLEAR SKIN!
Clear skin without keeping strict healthy diets, super-expensive ointments, lotions, suspensions, pills and tablets. Endless appointments at dermatologists, endocronologists, cosmetologists and physios.
Well, those photos made me burst into tears as I was asking myself: «Dear, how did you survive? How did you manage to find forces to turn somewhere up even though once a year? You’re super-strong but It can`t last forever.
There was one period of my life when I was free of these disgusting pimples but some time later I decided to stop the treatment because It could do harm to my body. And then It started all over again. Now I`m a first-year student at university and It seems that all ‘this’ life should begin. And it’s about to begin. But wait! This skin disease still makes me feel the worst person on the planet. It still prevents me to go anywhere without make-up on (that even doesn`’t help me)! It still makes me ask myself questions to which I have no answers.
Dear Kate, you should be strong, confident and happy no matter what. But you also should be sad, desperate and embarrased too. I guess it should be normal??
Dear people with clear skin, appreciate your clear skin!
Dear people with acne and post-acne, you deserve to have clear skin. You deserve to be beautiful. You are already beautiful. You just need some patience and a little bit of effort.
I truly believe that one day I’ll wake up and find no pimple or spot on my face. Let it be!
